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<title>Here when you’re gone by thusitakemyleave (mythicalkiss)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620217">Here when you’re gone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalkiss/pseuds/thusitakemyleave'>thusitakemyleave (mythicalkiss)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Death, M/M, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:54:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalkiss/pseuds/thusitakemyleave</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe is dead and Nicky is alive and that can never be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Here when you’re gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a not-for-profit fanwork. All characters are the property of their respective copyright holders.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Our immortality began together. It will end together. Have faith, my love.”</em></p>
<p>Joe first whispers the words to Nicky not long after they learn their immortality has an end date. He repeats them often over the centuries, a mantra: Every time Nicky feels panic rise in his throat when wounds take longer than usual to heal, every time they rarely separate on a mission, every time they witness the death of an innocent and mourn the lives they left behind, every time they cling to each other after their own countless, often needless, deaths. Nicky believes him, every time. He fought for God once, believes in Him still, his faith doesn’t waver.</p>
<p>Which is why, looking down at Joe’s lifeless body, Nicky feels only confusion. Joe is dead and Nicky is alive and that can never be.</p>
<p>He kneels beside Joe’s body, brows knit together as his hands roam, searching for fresh blood and wounds. He finds nothing. He lays his head on Joe’s chest, as he’s done so many, many, times before. He hears nothing. There’s no rise and fall, no hand twisted lovingly in Nicky’s hair. In fact, Joe’s hands are cold.</p>
<p>Nicky reaches into the heel of his boot and pulls out the small dagger he sometimes keeps there. He slices cleanly across his throat.</p>
<p>When he wakes moments later, the wound smooth, Joe is still cold. Nicky is still confused. He slices his throat again. Wakes, again. This time, he stabs the dagger several times into his chest. Wakes, a third time. The fourth time, the dagger is gone. Andy holds it in her hand and Nile kneels on Joe’s other side. Tears track down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Andy asks.</p>
<p>She, Nile, and Nicky had been shopping. Nile wanted new clothes, Nicky wanted dinner supplies, and Andy, her hair now white and her bones stiff, wanted a walk. Joe stayed behind to watch a football match.</p>
<p>“Nicky?”</p>
<p>There is still a line between Nicky’s brows. He feels numb. His eyes remain on Joe’s still face as he whispers in Italian, “I don’t know, boss.”</p>
<p>Nile looks for wounds as Nicky had done. “I don’t get it,” she exclaims, frantic. “Poison? Heart attack? Aneurysm? Blood clot? How would this even happen? When did he become mortal? Why now? I don’t get it, I don’t get it.”</p>
<p>Neither she nor Andy hear Nicky move as they inspect the body. A gunshot rings out and they startle to see Nicky’s body slump to the floor. Moments later, he gasps back to life. Joe still lies dead. He reaches for the gun again, but Nile kicks it out of his way.</p>
<p>“Stop,” Andy demands. “It’s not your time yet. You know this.”</p>
<p>Her words catch in her throat as she looks back to Joe. Her hand smooths down Nicky’s blood-soaked hair. “I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“No,” Nicky says softly, determined, “our immortality began together. It will end together.”</p>
<p>He crawls back to Joe’s body, lifts him reverently into his lap. “Our immortality began together. It will end together,” he says again, with greater conviction.</p>
<p>He rains gentle kisses on Joe’s eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips, as he repeats Joe’s mantra in every language they both know.</p>
<p>Nicky hears snatches of conversation behind him. “Find a truck….call Booker….we need to….place to bury…..soon…..the smell….autopsy?....”</p>
<p>Nicky knows he will not survive long without Joe. They can’t watch him for the rest of time, they can’t keep him from trying. There are so many, many ways to die and he will kill himself over and over as many times as it takes.</p>
<p>He continues to hold Joe’s body close, rocking slightly back and forth, as a flurry of activity happens around him. A sharp, sudden pain pricks behind his left eye and spreads. Nausea builds in his throat and his vision blurs.</p>
<p>“Our immortality began together. It will end together. Have faith, my love.” Nicky can no longer stay upright from the pain. He falls backward, bringing Joe with him. He smiles and closes his eyes. “I will be with you soon.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Originally posted on my tumblr of the same pseud. Any discrepancies with the comic and potential spelling/grammar/language errors are my own.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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